Murmuring
//*auto-correct is off, written in broken engrish.*//
-from Friedrich Nietzsche’s
On the Advantage and Disadvantage of History for Life
On the Advantage and Disadvantage of History for Life
Monday January 15 2024
In Chicago for a few days. Freezing. Spending some time with Nic. We went to watch Poor Things (2023) yesterday. It’s a really outstanding film. Calmed, doing better.
Sunday December 31 2023
If I have to be competely honest to myself and this page, I really really wanted to kill myself the past few days, and especially today; I think I almost did, if it wasn’t my grandma called and cried. Which also reminded me I currently have a partner in Chicago that cares about me dearly as well. I can’t ruin his life like this.
Sleeping on my mom’s death bed alone in Taiwan is hard. Not knowing how to drive and can’t go visit my mom’s tomb for her death anniversary is hard. Seeing my dad making baby with a woman about my age is hard. Trying not to judge and care is hard. All the physical pain I’m suffering from for mysterious causes is alright though.
I feel pathetic. As a failed daughter, as a human, and as a privileged brat that has barely accomplished anything since I graduated from all the “top programs” over and over again in the last few years. I wish I can at least pretend I’m fine. Thanks for reading, I already feel better.
Wednesday November 1 2023
I moved into my artist studio in Long Island City, Queens, today. I hope to take myself seriously by paying $800/month to rent this windowless space in the name of making art.
Thursday September 21 2023
zhuyan is in NYC for an art resdiency, I rented out my bedroom to her. Visited Chloe Li at ColumbiaU’s studio with zhuyan, had great tea, great talk and great dinner.
Tuesday August 22 2023
Had a studio visit via zoom with Mari. It feels great to be remembered by someone.
Monday July 3 2023
Made it out of China after quite an adventure...still recovering from all the experiences...Grateful for all the help received.
Friday May 19 2023
Walked the Tisch graduation, had a concussion, had a really bad allergic reaction. But, period cramps not as painful this time, and Nic and Ayo took care of me. Flying to Shanghai and staying for two months soon.
Wednesday April 26 2023
Feeling grateful to all the new friends and mentors I met in the NYU Tisch IMA Low Res program, but also appreciating the long lasting friendships from Chicago, specifically to Susan, Mari, Christine, Zhuyan and Liza lately. This is also the second time I got COVID on my birthday. Feeling terrible physically but mentally doing great.
Wednesday March 29 2023
I’m grateful for all the artists I met at my museum and the auction house jobs. Together, we got insulted by visitors, helped art handling and and sold 2.8 million dollars works, while getting paid $1 above minimum wage, with 100% professionalism. The love and care we have for each other continues even after leaving the jobs.
Tuesday January 17 2023
Many loves from Berlin this month.Will be back.
Friday April 15 2022
I’m grateful to participate in Artist Nayland Blake’s Got An Art Problem? project for the 2022 Whitney Biennial. After an hour coversation inside a museum glass room, we exchaged drawings with each other.
Monday November 8 2021
During my brief 3 months at SVA, I appreciated Artist and Professor Peter Hristoff‘s kind heart, encouragement and honest conversations with me. Today is my last day seeing Peter, as I’ve decided to not go back to school. Thank you.
Tuesday March 9 2021
I am grateful for all the artist friends and mentors I’ve met over the years in Chicago, some actually came to my MFA artist lecture today. It was a virtual one instead of the pretencious in-person version inside a room adjacent to the mighty Art Institute of Chicago (museum) main building, that I’ve been looking forward to since 2017, but whatever. Nothing matters after March 2020 anyway.
As I’m graduating soon, I thought to write down all the artist mentors/professors that have truly either inspired me and/or cared about me or my practice during my years at Chicago. Most of these people I don’t talk to anymore (because I’m pretty socially awkward), but at least for a moment in life, I truly appreciated our encounters:
Michiko Itatani, Mari Eastman, Tyson Reeder, Jacob Tonski, Sam Jaffe, Olivia Petrides, Gaylen Gerber, Matt Morris, Susan Kraut, Magdalena Moskalewicz, Claire Ashley, Mark Jeffery, Judd Morrissey, Kristin McWharter, Allie n Steve Mullen, Benjamin Melamed Pearson, Peter Burr, and Simon Anderson. Thank you.
Friday February 19 2021
I am grateful for Artist & Professor & Department Chair Michelle Grabner introduced Sianne Ngai’s Theory of Gimmick: Aesthetic Judgment and Capitalist Form (2020) to me during our MFA advising hours. This single exchange of knowledge was valuable depiste the rest of the semester was more...(eh) Some of my studio practices finally started making sense to myself after reading more about Ngai’s works.
from Sianne Ngai’s
Our Aesthetic Categories: Zany, Cute, Interesting (2015)
Our Aesthetic Categories: Zany, Cute, Interesting (2015)
Friday February 6 2020
I am grateful for Nic Johnson coming to my place for some dumplings, with a gift of the University of Chicago hoodie, following with a movie night out watching Marcel Duchamp: Art of the Possible. And then one thing led to another, we somehow became offically in a relationahip that night. I met Nic during my “Fuck Around the City to Loosen Up In Order to Become a Real Artist” journey. Needless to say how that turned out. Nic had brought me much more than what the journey could’ve done though, so I’m happy how it turned out I think 😳 (this is my effort of PDA for Nic).
Thursday November 28 2019
I am grateful for my new artist friend ye zhuyan (葉竹妍). I have been in the same art history class with her this whole semester, but we didn’t talk at all until last week (she’s a social butterfly though lol). zhuyan is a first-year MFA in Photo, from China, but studied abroad in Taiwan for 4 years. She learned I had a heartbroken break up earlier this week, and insisted on taking me out on Thanksgiving, making sure I am not just home alone crying 🥹. We took a long train ride to suburbs, took naked photos (of her) in the woods. She introudced me to her friend, Yue Xu, a first-year MFA in Sculpture. It was a really fun day and way to spend Thanksgiving without family. Thank you.
Friday September 6 2019
I am grateful for knowing Susan Kraut. It is her show opening tonight, many people attended. When I was a post-bacc student 2 years ago, she has been taking good care of me. When I decided not to come back to Chicago last year, she continued to stay in touch with me throughout the year, whether I was in Israel, Palestine, Taiwan or Japan. When I decided to come back this year for the MFA program, she makes sure I am adjusting fine and offer to take me out for brunch every week.
Thursday August 29 2019
Caught a flu last night, and still don’t have an apartment to stay in Chicago. Very very grateful to my artist friends, Christine Tuner and Liza Eilers, for letting me stay with them for the first three weeks of the semester for free. Not only for free but treats me like a guest, and take super good care of me. Although I am still very new to the Midwest, I already feel super welcomed, and ready to call this place home for the next two years at least. Hopefully, the Chicago Winter won’t change my mind.
Fall 2019
I took a Graduate Professional Practice Seminar course taught by Artist Matt Morris at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. In that course, Matt got us did a tons of stuff that I really felt pain doing. For examples, generating 100 questions before an artist visit, writing gratitude diary, and making busienss cards. Today (March 17, 2023), when I was going through my messy hard drive, I found the word docx. with all my gratitude entries from that class. And wow, I actaully really appreciate them.
As a person who’s used to living through life with hates and complains, I thought to try to pick up this gratitude practice again. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m explaining as if anyone’s ever gonna read through these stuff 😂 If you’ve read till this point, you are a little bit too obsessed with me yo. But if you do continue, just want to remind you that auto-correct and spelling is off on this page, I’m a FOB, and I have no idea how to write in proper Engrish grammar and spelling without the help of technology. If broken Engrish pains you, please leave.